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Please God Give Me A Miracle Before I Die

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7 replies to this topic

#1 Anatosa_*guest*


Posted April 30, 2011 - 5:58 PM

I have tried eight times since December 17th to kill myself. I was involved with a man for five years. We were everything to each other. He was my co-worker, my best friend, my mentor, my love. He brought me closer to God than I had ever been. All my life people have said how different I am; that I give too much of myself as a friend. I have never fit in anywhere or with anyone. I am a very complex woman and I have a lot of layers to me. Aristotle said that friendship is the highest form of relating and spoke of virtuous friendships. I will give everything to a friend, even if it makes my situation worse. I am so misunderstood and people don't seem to understand my type of friendship and hurt me by walking away. I even wanted to change careers, become a pastor and start a friendship counseling center where I would teach the values of how to be a virtuous friend. Well, when this man and I fell in love I gave him everything of myself because The Lord asked me to. This man told me that without me he would have been dead. I would do anything for this man, I would die for him. I lost friends because of him; I threw away most of my belongings and even gave up my home for him because God asked me to. I have been living in my truck for the last two and a half years. He promised me that he would protect me; that he would always be there for me and that we would get through everything together. For the first time ever, I felt understood and accepted by another person. Well, he just walked away one day and broke all of his promises. I guess what bothers me the most is that he's the only one who knows the whole truth about what I'm going to do and he won't help me. Jesus tells us to lay down our lives for our friends. I believe that if you love someone you sacrifice yourself for them, so that is what I'm doing. I remember reading Romeo and Juliet when I was younger and somehow I had a feeling that would be me someday. People who know me say I am the most romantic person they've ever met. There is a lot more I could say, but this is who I am and I give my life for my best friend. I cannot live without him. But, I don't want to die. I need God to not just give me signs He wants me to live, but give me what I need to live. I had everything planned out to the letter in December; no one knew; I was at peace. It's only been since being forced to stay here that the pain is just beyond belief. I'm in so much pain that I constantly have chest pain and cannot stop crying. I haven't been able to work since December and I have $500.00 left to my name. I am very lonely and have no one. I just want the pain to stop and I want peace. Please Jesus, help me. Let me serve you. Save me, please Lord. Open my friend's heart to me. Please bring my best friend back to me before it's too late.

Edited by Anatosa, April 30, 2011 - 6:02 PM.

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Posted April 30, 2011 - 6:08 PM

I will gladly send help! I have been there too.
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#3 elizbeth12_*guest*


Posted April 30, 2011 - 6:56 PM

You didn't say how old you are, so I'm assuming you aren't a teen. Please don't think that God would want you to kill yourself over this person. Don't get yourself confused on the meaning of some scripture. Is this a married man? The scenerio sounds as it could be. There isn't a man that's worth killing yourself over because he doesn't want you. You need to find yourself another job and get yourself a place to live so you can have a home. Don't wallow in self pity. Get tough and tell yourself that you aren't going to let anyone do this to you because you are a deserving person and you deserve better. You deserve to live and be happy. You just need to pray for God to help you and for His will to be done because you can't make demands on God. You may be saying you need to for him to do certain things but you need to understand that you pray for his will in your life. It may not be exactly what "you" want it to be but what He wants. There is another person in this world that would love to have a caring person such as you. DON'T GIVE UP!!!! I have a nephew that hung himself several years ago and he felt the same way, he was giving his life for other family members so they would be saved and go to heaven but there were sooo many people that were really hurt because he did that. You have people that care for you that would be terribly hurt if they lost you. That isn't your answer to this situation. Honey, you need to pick yourself up and strive for higher places because I don't think you can get much lower than you are now. Please, I don't even know you, but I wouldn't want you to committ suicide. You said yourself you didn't want to die. Forget about that guy and move on with your life. Keep praying to God and don't make demands on Him.
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#4 Prayerwarrior1990_*guest*


Posted April 30, 2011 - 7:23 PM

In the precious name of Jesus I pray that you bring comfort to Anatosa and that she may find love and peace in her beautiful life through christ jesus hear her cry's heavenly father and keep her strong spiritually,mentally and physically I also ask the you consume any confusion and frustration that she is going through in the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen

As much as you loved the man you were with our god is a jealous god and wants you to show him as much love to him ........remember love is forgiveness

I get these daily devotion that i signed up for every day that hep me get through the day here is a link if interested- http://www.newlivingtranslation.com/

when ever I feel down music always makes me feel good lisen to this song and know that god loves you......... except him as your savior. I appologise for my grammar it isnt at all good but I like to pray for others

hereare 2 song I like hope you enjoy them-

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Posted April 30, 2011 - 7:35 PM

May God be with you in your time of need. Father, I pray that you heal Anatosa. Give her her needs & take the depression away from her. Bless her Father.
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#6 Prayerwarrior1990_*guest*


Posted April 30, 2011 - 7:59 PM

Hey me again I just herd this song just a few hours ago I remembered what it said though it might help i had to google the lyrics to get the name of it so dont give up listen to it and think of what god has waiting for you he has some one for you who wants to give you the world .....your loved ones also want the best for you and hurting yourself will only hurt them.......... please believe and have faith

Here it is-

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#7 Eric

  • 354 posts

Posted April 30, 2011 - 8:15 PM

I have recently been through a situation where I was hurt and I too hurt deeply.I just kept calling out to God,day and night and he did hear me.And Ive stumbled and let myself fall back into hopelessness and bitterness for a moment but the Lord lifted me back up.Its a process of healing and trusting the Lord to give you what you need.Not by our might at all but by depending solely on Jesus.And he does not want you to kill yourself,I assure you.And as Prayer Warrior said,our God is a jealous God and wants us to love Him more than anyhing else.
Stay in prayer and in Gods word as much as possible and the Lord will rescue you.And it does help to pray for others no matter how bad you feel.
I pray now,Father God,that you would show Anatosa how much you love her.I ask that you would be all to her and take away the lonliness.I ask,Lord,that you heal her broken heart and give her hope in her future.Father,destroy all the firey darts of the devil that attempt to penetrate her heart and mind.Set her free in you with complete trust that you are her only hope.And I bind all thoughts of suicide and loose hope and peace upon this woman.In Jesus name.Amen.
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