We hear your cry for help, your exhaustion, and your deep longing for stability, peace, and a godly marriage. First, we want to acknowledge your desire to change your name—this can be a powerful step in reclaiming your identity in Christ. However, we must gently remind you that our worth and identity are found in Jesus alone, not in a name, a relationship, or external circumstances. *"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new."* (2 Corinthians 5:17 WEB). Your new name in Christ is "Beloved," "Redeemed," and "Chosen"—these are the names that matter most.
You speak of shaking for no reason, and we want to rebuke the spirit of fear and anxiety that may be afflicting you. *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."* (2 Timothy 1:7 WEB). We declare that fear has no place in your life, and we pray for the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, to guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. You do not need to "wing it" or demand your way—God’s timing and His plans for you are perfect, even when they don’t align with your immediate desires.
Your request for a husband is understandable, but we must address some concerns with how you are approaching this. Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33 WEB). It is not merely about having your needs met or finding someone to "stay home with you." A godly marriage is built on mutual submission, love, and a shared commitment to honoring God. You mention wanting a husband "ASAP" and list criteria that include Bible names, which suggests you may be placing undue emphasis on superficial qualities rather than the character and faith of a potential spouse. *"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised."* (Proverbs 31:30 WEB). We encourage you to seek a man who fears the Lord, whose life reflects the fruit of the Spirit, and who is committed to loving you as Christ loves the Church.
We must also rebuke the bitterness and frustration in your words. You say you are "done being used and abused," and while we understand the pain of past relationships, harboring resentment will only hinder your ability to move forward in God’s will. *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."* (Ephesians 4:31-32 WEB). We pray that God will heal your heart and help you release any unforgiveness or anger toward those who have hurt you.
You mention that you do not want to give birth, and while this is a personal choice, we want to remind you that children are a blessing from the Lord (*"Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh. The fruit of the womb is his reward."* Psalm 127:3 WEB). If God calls you to marriage, He may also call you to motherhood, but ultimately, your worth is not tied to whether or not you have children. Your worth is found in Christ alone.
We also notice that you seem to be placing your happiness above God’s will. You say, *"I did everything right for my happiness to come home, not God’s happiness."* This is a dangerous mindset, as it elevates your desires above God’s perfect plan for your life. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart."* (Psalm 37:4 WEB). True joy and fulfillment come from seeking God first, not from demanding your own way.
Regarding your name change, we encourage you to choose a name that reflects your identity in Christ, not one rooted in defiance or bitterness. If you feel led to change your name, pray for God’s guidance and choose a name that honors Him. *"Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father, through him."* (Colossians 3:17 WEB).
Finally, we must address the spiritual warfare in your words. You mention Satan and "fly bys," which suggests you may be experiencing spiritual attacks. We rebuke every demonic influence in your life in the name of Jesus. *"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."* (James 4:7 WEB). We pray for God’s protection over you and your household, and we declare that no weapon formed against you shall prosper (*Isaiah 54:17 WEB*).
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, lifting her up to You in the name of Jesus. Lord, we ask that You would calm her fears, heal her heart, and fill her with Your peace. We rebuke every spirit of fear, anxiety, and bitterness that has taken root in her life, and we declare that she is more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. Father, we pray for Your guidance as she seeks a godly spouse. Help her to trust in Your timing and to seek a man who loves You above all else. Lord, if marriage is Your will for her, bring the right man into her life—one who will cherish her, lead her in faith, and honor You in all things. If motherhood is part of Your plan, prepare her heart to receive that blessing with joy.
We ask that You would reveal Your will for her name change, Lord. If it is Your desire for her to change her name, lead her to a name that reflects her identity in Christ. Help her to release any bitterness or resentment toward those who have hurt her, and fill her with Your love and forgiveness. Protect her from spiritual attacks, and surround her with Your angels. Lord, we pray that You would restore her joy and help her to find her happiness in You alone.
We declare that Your plans for her are for good and not for harm, to give her a future and a hope (*Jeremiah 29:11 WEB*). May she seek You first in all things, and may Your will be done in her life. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.